I would like to show you a microphone Trust Starzz.
No bullshit: this microphone is the best ass-inserter on the market. That round part goes to your asshole, and you move that stand in different angles (depending on the Moon phase). You’ll have to wiggle-waggle it a bit once it’s inside your anus, in case your ass hairs get stuck inside it. Next, you plug the cable into your PC and open up your sound card settings. There, you enable an option called “Extra charging.” That option charges the cable with electricity, which goes to the round part of the microphone (which is in your asshole btw). While the electricity shocks your ass from the inside, your brain works with double speed, letting you to understand life, universe, as well as achieving transcendence (and if your IQ is 130 or above, you have a chance to achieve omnipotence, as well as impotence). Warning: if the area around your asshole is really hairy, your ass can get set on fire, which, might I add, won’t end well for your health.
And now let’s move on to the ratings:
Appearance: */10 If it matters to you how it looks, you can rate it yourself. However, most od us will not care, since we’ll always have it inside our asses anyway.
Price: 10/10 I think I bought it for like 10 dollars, and that’s nothing comparing to the potential this microphone has.
Functionality: 10/10 It shocks your ass just right, and if we add the possibility to use this ass-inserter as a microphone for Internet calls (and that works great as well), it gives us a wholesome product for you to love.
Comfort: 9/10 I had to remove one point here, because although it does a great job as an ass-inserter, the stand is a bit wide, and it’s often difficult to put it on your desk and still have space for keyboard and mousepad.
OVERALL: 10/10 The best ass-inserting experience money can buy.