Easter Bunny

Happy Easter! 

Timmy and his disfunctional family were preparing to go to grandma’s house to celebrate Easter together.

“Timmy you faggot, clean your asshole before we go.” his mom said, “We don’t want it to be like last year, when you farted so hard that we had to wash walls from your shit for entire week.”

“No problem mom!” said Timmy and went to the bathroom to clean his ass.

“Timmy you faggot, grab that bag of sweets we’ve prepared for grandma! It’s in the kitchen.” his dad said.

TImmy went to the kitchen, grabbed the bag and took a closer look at it. Suddenly, a giant, mutated bunny jumped out of the bag. He jumped on Timmy’s dad, completely crushing him, and then, he farted very hard and blew Timmy’s mom and sister off through the window.

“Timmy, I’m the easter bunny.” the bunny said, “I arrived here to warn you about a great danger, threatening your family.”

“Jesus Christ, what is that danger??” Timmy asked.

Your dad will be crushed, and your sister and mom will be blown off the window with a strong fart.”

“But it’s you who’s done it, you retarded rabbit.”

“Oh, yeah ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)”

“Hey, maybe instead of going to my grandma, you can take me somewhere?”

“Gr8 idea, where do you want to go?”

“Let’s go to ISIS base and destroy it, ok?”

“Naturally, but you have to pay the price of 25 american dollars for me to take you there.”

“Ok, here.” Timmy said and took some money out of his pocket, “… Do you have any pockets?”

“Put them into my ass, I can shart them out later.”

“Ok, sounds fantastic.”

Timmy inserted the banknotes into the bunny’s asshole and jumped on it. Then the bunny jumped and landed in the ISIS base. Unfortunately, none of them could have predicted that gravity will kill them both, so Timmy, as well as easter bunny, have died.

Luckily, the bunny fell down with such a huge speed that the impact has destroyed everything around, so ISIS was no more. Unfortunately, by “everything around” I mean everything in a 500 trillion miles radius, so the entire galaxy was destroyed, what a shame.


Oh, and here’s a picture of a soup we tend to eat for Easter in Poland:

It’s a Polish sour rye soup, often called “white borscht”. We eat it with sausage and hard-boiled eggs.

And you can’t even imagine the shitting that occures five minutes after eating it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Jk lol it’s gr8.