Johny forgets to take his medicine and look what it lead to

Johny had an extraordinary case of brain malfunction and anyone who ever met him thinks of him as a psycho.

One time in the evening, he was about to take Psychofix pills, which guarantee a calm sleep and prevent shitting yourself in the night.

“Okay, so I’ll take these pills now and go to sleep” Johny said and grabbed a pill and a glass of water.

Then he drank the water, put the pil aside on the desk and went to sleep.

Tomorrow… Johny woke up. He looks: the pill has not been taken.

“Oh no! I didn’t take the pill yesterday! I hope nothing bad happened.”

Johny went outside to breathe some fresh air. As he opened the door, he saw the entire discrit covered with shit, the backyard dug up, full of banana peels (all in shit), and army choppers flying everywhere, rescuing civilians bogged down up to the waist in shit.

He took a look around and said:

“Well, at least I didn’t shit myself tonight.”

Then he entered his home, and there, military troops caught him, put inside a rocket and sent him on a one way journey into space.

THE END

 

Cool Computer Game

Adrian launched a newly bought game. In the main menu there were a couple of buttons: New Game, Load Game, Options and Exit Game. There was also a small button in the corner of the screen.

Adrian pointed it with the cursor and a text popped up: “Press this button to make Your computer explode”.

“Hmm, I wonder what kind of surprise the creators of this game prepared for me, when I press this button!” Adrian thought.

The surprise was that his computer exploded right into his fucking face. Adrian ended up in a hospital. However, after he left the hospital he realized he could see through walls! LOL!

Oh, wait. He was just staring at a shop window.
Then he came up with a great idea.

“I’ve got an idea! I will go to my mom and complain to her that nobody wants to hire such a dumbass like me!”

He ran to mommy, and she told him that he’s stupid, because he’s only 15 years old and that he has a face disorder.

Then Adrian.

THE END

Victor makes a Twitch account

In a small house in Shitsville lived a boy named Victor. Victor was a student in the local school. That school was pretty fun, the teachers were nice and shit. However…

Victor was a full-on homosexual, and he didn’t try to hide it. Unfortunately, other students weren’t very tolerant, so they would shit inside Victor’s backpack everyday. And the shits they would take were so stinky that you could die if you sniffed too much.

Victor decided he had to do something about it.

“I’ve got an idea! I’ll make a Twitch account and stream videos of my life! Then everyone will like me!”

So he entered the site, signed up using his mom’s credit card information, his exact address and a real photo of his face.

Next, he plugged a video camera in and started recording.

“Hello there, darlings!” he said, “Today, I shall show you how to properly clean your ass!”

At this moment, he pulled down his pants and grabbed a sponge.

“You have to pour some soap on the sponge and moisten it with water. Then, you have to wipe your anus very carefully.”

He started wiping his ass and after a while, his anus was as shiny as the sun.

“Now you have to take a towel and wipe yourself dry. Just remember to throw this towel into the laundry basket. You don’t want to use the same towel to wipe your face later, do you?”

Then he realized that he was watched by over 50 million people. He got scared and quickly covered himself with a towel and turned off the camera.

Unfortunately, Internet doesn’t forget, and the next day everyone in the world was laughing at Victor and his stupid face.

Yet, he actually benefited from this whole situation. Companies started to sell towels with Victor’s face on them, he was invited to multiple popular talk-shows and even some publisher agreed on publishing a series of homosexual books written by Victor himself.

THE END

 

Daniel goes to the store to buy some sausages

Daniel was starving. For about 3 days, he was eating nothing but cat food and pickles.

“I’ve got and idea!” he said to himself, that psycho, “I’ll buy some sausage! It will be nice to eat something meaty for a change :>”

So he put on his socks from yesterday, some shitty slippers and a T-shirt with a big fallus printed on  the chest. Then he left the house.

He entered the store and approached the cashier-lady.

“Good morning, m’lady! Can I have some sausage, please?”

“THERE IS NO SAUSAGE!!!!!!!11” she shouted and took out a shotgun from under the counter and filled the shop with lead. This caused some massive face-damage to the guy who was standing behind Daniel.

Then Daniel used his insane Kung-Fu skills to erase the cashier from this world.

Unfortunately, the aliens from the Xen dimension came, ate all humans and covered Earth with a big layer of feces.

THE END

Opinion Differences

Tommy and mommy were sitting at the table. They were eating scrambled eggs for breakfast. Mommy was drinking coffee, while Tommy was drinking Red Bull.

“Son, you really shouldn’t drink so many energetic drinks.” mom said to Tommy, “Maybe consider switching to coffee?”

“SHUT UP MOM I KNOW BETTER!!!” he screamed with anger, “COFFEE MAKES YOUR BALLS SOFT AND RED BULL ENHANCES YOUR MIND AND BODY!”

Then Tommy pulled out an adrenaline syringe from his pocket and injected it in his ass.

“Dear God, son, what are you doing??” mom asked.

Tommy was very energetic at this moment, so he decided to jump out of his balcony. So he jumped out and broke all of his bones. What a shame.

THE END