A Weed Story

Jimmy took a shit in the toilet, and then he approached his friends, who were waiting for him outside.

“Hey, Jimmy, we were just talking about yesterday!” Johny said.

“You mean when I farted in classroom and the teacher fainted?”

“Yes! We wanted to celebrate today.” Kevin said.

“Oh, cool! Let’s buy a few bags of chips and some orange juice, and we’re gonna watch Dexter’s Laboratory till the evening!”

“Umm, no.” said Johny, “Instead, let’s blaze this weed that I bought yesterday.”

Jimmy looked at the small packet of weed.

“Is this… marijuana? But… a priest in our church said that whoever blazes weed will go to hell?”

“Hah! What a retard!” Kevin laughed, “Now you’ve made a fool out of yourself! Come on, Johny, let’s beat him up!”

Johny and Kevin activated extermination mode and started shooting homing missiles at Jimmy from their asses. Fortunately, Jimmy was prepared for such situation, and used his magic to summon a giant ball of shit, which crushed Johny and Kevin to death.

Jimmy noticed that Johny has dropped the weed.

“Hmm, maybe I’ll give it a try.”

He rolled the weed with toilet paper and blazed it.

He woke up next day, lying on the street in the city center. There were bloody corpses everywhere, and everything looked like some post-apocalyptic wasteland. There were banana peels scattered everywhere, as well as books on quantum physics covered in shit.

Jimmy woke up and grabbed his head.

“What in the name of Jesus Christ has happened here?”

He looked at the destruction that he caused, while in amok caused by blazing the weed.

Jimmy came to conclusion that weed is indeed Satan’s creation, and went to a church to cleanse his body from sin (and shit) using holy water. Then he teleported to Costa Rica to teach black people about Jesus.

 

 

THE END

If I could become an elf, orc or a dwarf, I would choose an orc, because orcs stink the most (though dwarves stink only a little less).

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Author: kream45

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