Kobe Bryant entered his bathroom and took a shit. He farted a lot, and the shit was coming out very slowly, but at least it didn’t splash toilet water on his anus. When the shit was finally out, he wiped his ass and pulled up his pants and went outside.
He walked a bit around his hood and saw some kids playing football. They noticed him and approached him.
“Sir, are you Kobe Bryant from NBA, the famous black boi that plays basketball, a game that is significantly worse than football?” some kid asked.
“Yup, the same one.” Lucio confirmed.
“Is that true that you have over 300 confirmed won matches and that you’re in fact from Africa, and that you’re secretely a Trump supporter?” some other kid asked.
“Yup, yup, and yup.” Lucio nodded.
“Can you stop yupping and give me an autograph?” the last kid asked and pulled out a piece of paper and a pen out of his pocket.
“Sure, what’s your name?”
“It’s Tyrone… wait, why do your hands stink like shit?”
Kobe sniffed his hands up close and failed to keep a straight face.
“Oh my god, I think I didn’t wash my hands after I took a shit…” he stated.
“Yuck! You stink like shit, Kobe! I don’t want a shitty autograph!”
The kids ran away and Kobe quickly ran home and entered his bathroom.
He applied a lot of liquid soap on his hands and started washing his hands. He rinsed his hands and did it all over again.
“Fuck me, they still smell like shit!” Kobe was close to cutting his fucking hands off, but then he realized…
“I know!” he yelled, “I must wash them one hundred times more and then they will smell fine!”
He washed his hands 100 times more. They indeed didn’t smell like shit anymore, but it took him 4 hours to wash them.
And that’s why kids, you should always wash your hands right after you take a shit, otherwise the shit on your hands will become all dry and very difficult to wash.
Kobe smiled with a relief, and to celebrate his victory over his shitty hands, he took another shit, and another one, and another one, and and another one.
And another one.
And another one