Sofia woke up and remembered that it was the last day before coming back to families for Christmas. Though she didn’t have any family. So she talked to Ron:
“Hey Ron, can I come to your house for Christmas?” she asked.
“No, I don’t like and you stink.”
Then Sofia killed Ron with a machette and ate his carcass. Then, she took his hair and added it to a previously prepared polyjuice potion. She drank it and transformed into Ron, and then she walked downstairs to the Great Hall for breakfast.
“Hey Ron, why do you stink so much today?” Harry asked.
“Well, I took a giant shit today morning, and I think I didn’t wipe my ass correctly.” Sofia/Ron answered.
“You’re so pathetic.” Hermione said, “You should clean yourself, and not assimilate with filth like some caveman.”
“Shut up Hermione, nobody likes you.” Sofia said, “Everytime you open your mouth, I want to punch you in the face.”
Hermione has burst into tears and ran to a bridge to jump off.
“Ron, that wasn’t very nice of you.” said Harry, looking as Hermione drops to her death, “You really should think of what you’re saying.”
“Alright, and what you say to this?” Sofia responded.
She grabbed Ron’s Wand and shouted:
“Abracadabra Hocus Pocus!” and Harry was transformed into a pig. Sofia took it and made a delicious bacon.
Then it turned out it wasn’t a very good idea to eat a whole pig. Sofia had to shit really fast, but she couldn’t make it to a toilet, so she crapped on Ginny’s bed.
“Omg, nobody can see this!” Sofia thought, “What will they think of me?”
Then Sofia came up with a great idea to cover the shit with a blanket. Really smart, Sofia!
Then, however, Ginny entered the bedroom and sniffed the air.
“Why does it stink so fucking much in here?” she flinched.
“It’s my shit, which I took on your bed… oops, that was supposed to be a secret, forget what I just said.” Sofia said.
“You WHAT?!!” Ginny shouted and casted an Ass Explodus spell on Sofia, but she dodged it and casted Bombarda Maxima, and Ginny exploded into tiny little pieces. Kek ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
This story raises the bar for idiotic stories on the whole Internet.