Sorry for posting late, it was supposed to be posted on Dec 6th, but I was too lazy to translate it (I write in Polish first), so forgive me. Also, feel free to write a comment. I can’t say I get too many.
Sofia was shitting in the Gryffindor room. Harry Potter smelled the stink and died. Ron and Hermione were crying, but Sofia didn’t give a fuck and returned to the girls’ bedroom.
“OMG!” she exclaimed, “I’ve got a gift!”
She saw a bag of gifts next to her bed. She jumped on her bed and started unpacking everything. She received Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans, limited edition (every bean had the taste of shit), a chocolate frog (also shit-flavoured), sour candies (guess what flavour), and a pack of very peculiar candies.
“Hmm, I wonder what do these candies taste like…” she thought and ate one.
Then the floor began to quake, and Sofia started farting. Suddenly, she farted very hard, and the stink from her ass formed a portal between Harry Potter’s world and Hell.
Army of devils with Satan himself attacked Hogwarts and killed EVERYBODY. Except Sofia, who survived because she hid under her bed.
Dumbledore survived too, cuz he was in his office reading Mein Kampf.
He noticed something’s wrong and left his office, just to see every student and teacher being slaughtered by devils.
Dumbledore put out his wand, but Satan ate it. Fortunately, Dumbledore had a spare one, hidden in his asshole. He took it out and casted a spell, which killed all the devils and Satan, and resurrected every student and teacher. Even Harry Potter was resurrected.
Everyone was happy, and Sofia threw out the devil candies into the toilet. Then she gave out her all other candies (yes, those shit-flavoured) to everyone in Hogwarts, and everyone ate them. They weren’t as bad as they thought they would be.