Haunted Computer

Brian turned on his computer. His mom Jessica bought it for him so that he could entertain himself while his parents drink vodka.

“Hmmm, what shall I play today?” he thought and entered his Steam account. His nickname was xXx_Pv$$Y_D3$T®0Y3®_xXx.”

He browsed his game library. He looked at The Witcher 3, which he bought lately, but his computer couldn’t run it. He texted his friend, Adrian, on facebook.

“Adrian, listen, I’ve got Witcher 3, I can’t run it, help.”

“What are your PC specs?” Adrian asked, “Have you tried playing on low graphical settings?”

“Listen, I don’t know what you’re talking to me you clown, I can’t run WItcher 3, I want to play it, do something!”

“Okay, then install Windows 10. You should be able to run most games easily.

Brian installed Windows 10. It was installing for over 10 hours.

“Finally, you piece of shit! Come on, let me play!”

He looked at the new interface. He used to use a pirated Windows XP Proffessional. He had to download Windows 10 from some suspicious websites.

He double-clicked on The Witcher 3 icon. It worked.

“WoWOOWWOwoowOWOWOWOWOOWoW!!!!” Brian screamed happily.

Then the game turned off, showing some kind of an error: “The hard disk got destroyed, all data lost. Please contact the local police department for help.”

“FUUUUUUUUCKK!!!” he shouted and jumped on his bed in amok.

Then his mom came:

“Brian, what’s going on? Mommy has bought you some of these funny curly french fries from McDonald’s and a pretty ruled notebook for you, cuz you said you needed it for school.”

“SHUT UP MOM!!!” Brian cried, “KFC is Better, and I didn’t want this notebook for school, but to wipe my ass with it! Because the toilet paper you’re buying hurts my asscheeks and you don’t understand me! Buy me this iPhone 6+ already, because people don’t like me in my school!!!”

His mom Jessica approached him and said:

“My friend Angelina is coming this evening, I can’t help you with your problems :c Turn on your computer and play one of your favourite shooters, this will make you happy.

“But mom! The computer is broken!”

“Have you installed Windows 10?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, so I can’t help you with that. I only use Vista, lol.”

Brian went to sleep.

He woke up in the morning and he saw his computer turning on by itself.

“Hmmm, suspicious ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)”

He pat the computer lightly in the case, and a ghost appeared!

“OMG!”

It was the spirit of Steve Jobs, who couldn’t stand seeing the fuckfest that his concurent, Bill Gates, has done.

“I’ll eat your asscheeks!” the ghost yelled.

“Oh no! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)”

But then Brian’s mom Jessica and his dad Mohammad woke up and destroyed the ghost with their power.

“Mom, dad, where did you come from?”

“We live here, you little shit.”

“Oh, yeah ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)”

THE END

 

 

 

 

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Author: kream45

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