Pokemon Go kill yourself

Brad was listening to his favourite playlist of the most beautiful Arabic war songs, when the doorbell rang.

“I wonder who’s that” he thought, “Maybe it’s finally a courier with a new Xbox One, which I ordered a month ago.”

He opened the door and saw a small group of little kids.

“What do you want?” Brad asked.

“Can we enter Your backyard, sir, to catch a rare pokemon who’s hiding there?” one of the kids asked.

“Lol, I won’t let you in, go away.”

“Whaatt? So youdon’t symphatize with other Pokemon Go players?”

“I don’t even play this stupid game.”

“Eeeeehh???!! But everyone plays it!!”

“Not me.”

Then the kids took out big clubs from their backpacks, with spikes oozing blood, wrapped with barbed wire.

But Brad released a big ball of fire from his mouth and the kids turned to ash.

Brad went back to his room and started scratching his ass like crazy.

After a couple of seconds, the doorbell rang.

Brad got up and opened the door. There were tens of thousands of people from around the world in front of his house. Everyone wanted to catch that Mewtwo, which appeared in Brad’s backyard.

Some dude approached Brad.

“Good morning! We kindly request you to share your backyard and nobody will get hurt.”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t let you on my backyard, I don’t give a shit about your damn game.”

“What if I give you 10 cents?”

“I will let you in if each of you give me 50 american dollars.”

Then all of the people there turned into pokemons and attacked Brad. But Brad used his stellar power to summon a meteorite, which destroyed everything and everyone around, leaving Brad and his house intact.

Brad went to his room and smeared Nutella into his asscheeks.

Then, after a couple of nanoseconds, the doorbell rang.

Brad opened the door. There was some retard standing in front of him.

“Good morning! Here’s your delivery.”

“Oh, finally my Xbox One! I was waiting for a month!”

“You know, when you buy from a store in a different galaxy, you have to prepare for a long delivery time.”

Brad closed the door and went to his room. He put the package on the table and used scissors to open it.

“I can’t wait to play on my Xbox!”

However, right after he opened the box, it turned out that there is no Xbox inside. Instead, there was a big block of dried shit with a small note attached.

Brad read the note:

Consoles are for filthy casuals. Buy a PC.”

Brad got really mad and farted heavily. But, after a while, the block of shit exploded and destroyed half of the planet.

THE END

 

 

 

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Author: kream45

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