Pete had a delicious, strawberry yoghurt. It was Pete’s favorite.
“Mom, thank you for buying me this yoghurt! I love them!” he said to his mom.
“I’m glad you like them” she responded with a smile, “I’m glad even more now that their price dropped by 99,9%, and in some stores they even pay you to take them.”
“Ah, I think I saw in TV lately that in the yoghurt factory, someone accidentaly threw nuclear wastes to the main tank, and now it’s hard to tell whether you’re gonna get a radioactive yoghurt or not. But it’s impossible that you’d be the one who gets a contaminated yoghurt, right?”
Pete wasn’t listening to mommy, because he was just evolving into a giant, mutated monster, who could cast lightnings from his ass and was able to manipulate time.
Mutated Pete went south, causing earthquakes with each step, but he tripped and fell down onto Antarctica, turning it to pieces and destroying the whole planet.
However, it turned out that Pete had eaten too many shrooms on breakfast, and there wasn’t in fact any accident in the yoghurt factory. His mom was only telling him about a normal yoghurt discount, and instead of mutation he was just experiencing a very heavy constipation, and he didn’t fall on Antartcia, but on his stupid face.