I know it’s not winter yet, but I was too lazy to find any other story to translate to you.
Little Jimmy has been running around the house in amok for a couple of hours. He literally shit himself when he heard that winter holidays just started.
“Woawaoawoaowaowoaowoawo!!!!!! Holidayyssss!!!” little Jimmy was screaming.
He hated school, because he was a stupid kid and nobody liked him, so the holidays would be a great opportunity to improve his mad skills in 360 noscope headshots.
However, suddenly, his mom told him out of nowhere:
“Jimmy! Pack your pants, socks and sweaters!” mom said, “Tomorrow at dawn we’re going to the mountains to ski! We’ll spend there the entire holiday! It will be a really good, family time. There won’t be any of those brainwashers like the computer of yours or Gaystation.”
At this moment, Jimmy pissed his pants. “SKI?!! WHAAATT??!?” he thought. “But my Call of Duty skill won’t raise by itself!”
But what scared him the most, was the thought of what happened to him in the mountains three years ago, when he was in the 1-st grade. Back then, he met… Big Foot!
When he was skiing for the first time, his parents wanted to add him some courage, so they threw him down a hill. At the bottom, he met Big Foot, who shit all over Jimmy and buried in snow. He was found later in spring, when the snow melted. He was lying hibernated in a frozen shit cocoon. He was scared of skiing and mountains since then.
“Oh, I wonder who’s calling to the door?” Jimmy thought and opened the door. At the door, there was Big Foot standing, who shit all over Jimmy, packed inside a bag, drove to the mountains and buried in snow somewhere by the mountain peak.
No one has seen Jimmy ever since…